We've talked for so long, meeting on Fetlife through a wise-ass comment on one of your photos, mild flirting jumping back and forth between us escalating to exchanging IM handles, and chatting on there when we had the chance. After that it moved to texts back and forth, then calls that lasted late into the night, and having my mother go crazy over the phone bill each month because I "purposefully" hogged all the shared minutes.
Over the months, our relationship grows, deepens and settles into our souls. A friendship grows, and it feels like we've known each other for years even though we are both surprised at how short of a time it really has been. Our calls to each other are more frequent, and nearly nightly some months. I've shared so much of my hardships with you, blubbered through my tears, your voice calming me and settling my whirling mind. Your "lame" jokes making me giggle and laugh, brightening my mood.
Sexually we are charged, your low voice rumbling in my ear, my eyes closed and i'm smiling and purring at your words. We exchange photos, taken to each other's tastes.
We've talked many times about one of us going to see the other, exchanging scenarios of you tracking me, and leaving little gifts for me while i'm at work or sleeping in my room. Other scenarios often are talked about only in speculation, because you don't like to be predictable, and I really don't truly know sometimes how you'll act/react.
But I just want to see you so bad, not via a phone photo, or a grainy web cam image, i want to see you in front of me in the flesh. I want to see your face break into a smile as you gaze upon me, hear your belly laugh as I squeal with excitement at the sight of you and start running. I want to be able to be wrapped in your strong arms when i plow into you, my arms wrapping around your waist or your neck, my face buried into your chest. I need to hear your chuckle as you feel me start to shake, crying happy tears that you're finally here. Wiping my tears away with a gentle hand, your thumb wiping my tears away as your palm caresses my cheek.
I want you to take my face in your hands and kiss me softly, tenderly, let that spark shimmer and glow inside the both of us. Want to be able to wrap my arms around your neck as you bend down and kiss my lips fully, taking what has been truly yours for so long. Smiling at my shuddering sighs and gasps and moans, my need apparent in my touch and my mouth nipping at your lower lip. I just want to take and be taken by you.
I want to have your hands exploring every inch of me, from the top of my head to the tip of my toes, and i want to do the same to you. and after, i want to have you curled around me, protecting me, shielding me from the world. Your arm wrapped around me and your head above mine, gently kissing the top of my head as we drift to sleep. Me holding the arm close like a favored stuffed animal, breathing in your scent as we drift to sleep.
Waking up to your kisses and caresses, smiling up at you bleary eyed and kissing you good morning, giggling as you lick my nose in reply before kissing you deeply, moaning into your mouth as you touch me.
Our parting would be bittersweet, tearful kisses exchanged (at least i will be) before i watch you walk into the airport, a whispered promise of a return visit the only thing keeping my heart from shattering. And it will be then when i resolve to wait for your return, and welcome you back into my arms with my heart and soul singing.
I wait for you my warrior,
I pray that we will be able to see each other
face to face,
body to body,
heart to heart,
as soon as humanly possible.
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