Musings

Back dated 1/12/2011

I've had a few people tell me to be careful around him, that he causes drama, he might be 'bugged' as it were; all I know from meeting and talking to him (online) is that i want to know more. I want to get to know him and at least form a friendship.  Maybe its naive of me, but i think there is a good person there; it's just waiting for the right person to come along and coax it out into the light. I'm not saying that it will be me, just that i think that there is that potential there.

He is a powerful male, a large strong wolf with an intense aura about him.  He also says that he is a vampyre and according to a few friends of mine, is a powerful psychic as well.  Which might be half of the reason that i reacted to him the way i did.  But who knows.

He's in the process of getting a divorce and i have already told him that i didn't want to pursue anything past friendship at this point because of that.  As much as i think i want to i can't right now, i'm not in the right place for it mentally and emotionally and neither is he.

I hope to have Saturday off so that he and i could meet, hang out and talk.  I want to be sure that the connection we felt was real, not something catalyzed by the energy of the club. But i have a feeling that it will still be there.  Because it wasn't just him feeding off of the energy, it was me as well.  The power between us as he lead me through a gesture was amazing.  I could physically feel the energy swirling and dancing like wisps of smoke curling up into the air.

All through the night i knew he was watching me.  The times that i had my attention focused elsewhere and he touched me, i knew it was him without having to look.  I didn't even have to look when he drew his dragon claw over my back before Erebus started working on me.  All i did was smile and lift my hand for him to grasp as he whispered in my ear.  He asked me if i was doing okay and i nodded "yes" he kissed my hand before moving on.

There was another moment when he backed me into a wall in the club and just kissed me.  His mouth capturing my lower lip, nipping and pulling.  The hungry gaze before and after he captured my mouth took my breath away and made my knees go weak.  The looks we gave each other all through the night could have set the club on fire.

It's going to be tough controlling myself Saturday.  All i've been wanting to do is to go find him and fall into a big cuddle fest with him after much making out and whispering the intense desire to just forgo anything and everything we have agreed on and just give in to the base instinct that has been driving at us since the party.

....Fast Forward A Bit....

Now:

So my mom told me that i DO in fact have Saturday off, so i'm trying to get in touch with him to see when he'll be available to meet at The Walk to hang out. Being a naturally curious person i know there will be a lot we'll be talking about, the little kitschy things you always ask when you're first getting to know someone as well as the more in-depth questions about why he chose to be a vampyre, and what he sees in that particular walk of life.


I've asked him if he could put a cap in his energy since it was a little overwhelming at the club, having to process not only the club's lust and sex filled energy but his as well.  He promised that he would dial it down a bit.  With him being a psi vampyre i know he keeps himself open at least a little bit but with me being so new to the this Path (especially after feeling the energies), I want to try to protect myself a little bit, as well as needing to do more meditation to center and shield myself.


Who knows what will happen.  I'll be sure to log it as soon as i can.