I don't know why, but there are times where he just looks at me, with an expression that I just can't read, and it makes me shy.
One evening last week we were walking to the 7-11 to get some late night groceries and he had mentioned something about my looks, which I vehemently denied (see massive self-image issues, among other things). That denial resulted in an equally vehement rebuke and a passionate kiss to reinforce it. He held my hand and just looked at me as we walked, and I met his eyes and that expression before giving a shy smile and hiding in my hair. Which resulted in a startled/amused laugh from him and comments about how it is possibly for me to be shy... or something like that...
I was too busy trying to hide in my hair.
I've always been told that "you clean up nice" or "wow, you look really nice"... ~pulls a face~ "Nice"? Geez... I'm a homely girl next door with scars, scabs, marks and stretch marks before I should have them. My teeth are crooked and stained from too much coffee, I'm overweight and as rickety as a 70 year old some days. I'm HARDLY day to day beautiful.
The times I feel truly beautiful, are when I am dancing, and if I'm in a particularly well put together outfit. And, I also felt radiant in J's arms when i was with him. I have a feeling that the same will happen with Riven, not that I'd mind at all. According to the cutie in 7-11 we're already acting like one, and neither of us are really bothered by it.
Just so hard when we both want it, and at the same time we know we can't rush into it.
Soon though, soon. I can feel it.
Okay off to bed.
No comments:
Post a Comment