What I Need Take 2

Okay obviously i just posted a little while ago, but i forgot a big one.

• Allow me to Switch: as a submissive/Dom switch, there is that need, fueled by Rose of course, to dominate. A few have said that as a switch, to thrive i need to be with another switch.
  So far, that statement hasn’t proven true, BUT i could be wrong since i am quite new to this life.  I will not/can not Dom just anyone. We have to sit up and feel a connection with a sub before we will attempt to Dom a submissive. The same goes for an eventual Dom. 
  You can have the best toys and be the best looking Dom out there, but if Rose and i don’t sit up and pay attention, then its tough titties for you bucko!
  
  
• Have Patience: Please have patience with me. It takes many tries for me to get something right, and don’t tell me, show me. I am a visual and physical learner, and until the muscle memory hits, i will make mistakes. I will forget a proper response, I will neglect to do a certain task; but it is not because i am being a brat, it is because it has not become habit for me yet.
  
  
• Regarding Service Oriented Submission: Service oriented submission is something that i have heard about, but not something that i have fully researched.  In my previous dynamic i would wash his hair as well as his back and legs, and brush out his hair after a shower.  I would bring him his shorts or socks as he asked me, but other than that, there really isn’t any formal service training that i have done.
  
  
• I will NOT be a slave: that is another hard limit and an expansion of the SOS though processes at the moment. I will gladly perform tasks for my Dom’s pleasure, but i will not be put in a space where i find myself degraded and humiliated, which also falls into objectification and being urinated or shat on. Aint gunna happen. I may nuzzle your leg or hand in thanks and devotion, but i am not going to kiss your boots, unless i am overcome with the need to plead for something or other and my words do not speak loudly enough for You to hear.
  

And now i say good night, good day, And Gods All Bless. For the night is drawing on and my eyes are weary.

My Mind Is Fucked Up

And i’m not saying that because i’m a pervert, a ‘freak’, etc.  I’m saying it because my mind has a strange way of processing and justifying certain situations.

Like last night for example.

I had a fantastic time with Master and my Lady, and was teased and tortured and bitten by them both.  But because i didnt get fucked by Master or tasted by my Lady, i felt left out and ignored, at least in that way. And today that translated into the fact that i was ignored and left out that whole night.

Like i said, fucked up.

But as i described it to another friend, it kind of felt like sub drop, but also factor in that i’m still a smidge sick, and i’m still on the last few days of my period (which reminds me.. i have to put my patch on tomorrow after a shower..).  Sorry, random i know.  Blaming the still fluctuating hormones may sound like a cop-out to most, and i can see why they would think that.

But i acknowledge that the jealousy is there… the fact that She gets to see him more often than i, but logic states that she can because she is just going to school and doesn’t work full time (damn near 24/7) like i do.  She has the ability to sleep over with him also, another thing that is impossible for me short of next month’s party which the next day is a day off for me so i’m planning on actually sleeping over with Them.

She has freedoms that i dont have, especially family wise.  My mother is aware and judges me and guilt trips me left and right about how i’ve decided to live my life, and forbids me to talk about it in the house (my house my rules *gag*). That fact alone leaves me feeling stifled and saddened. By what She has told me thus far, they acknowledge it and accept it, but have their reservations like all parents would.  Things may be different than the impression i got.. i don’t know.

So you see why i feel so conflicted, and so stressed and anxious.  I know that things will work out in the end, but this is a new and unknown Path to me, and i pray that i will be able to travel it by His side and grow both as a sub, and a young woman.

Double Teamed - Oh So Good!

Friday December 11, 2009

So last Friday was the first meeting of the Guerrilla Shibari meeting and it was a success by all accounts. Got to meet a bunch of new people and meet Mistress Ingrid face to face (what a powerful beauty) and had a great time all around. Typical me I was very nervous around a bunch of new people, but with Master’s reassuring hand on mine I slowly calmed down and loosened up a bit.

We sat back and watched as Erebus tied up a sub girl and as she was played with by Mistress Ingrid. IT was quite fun as I sat at Master’s feet with my cheek on his thigh and knee, my eyes watching the rigging and Erebus work. Master and I stayed after most of the guests had gone since we had planned to go to Erebus’s house afterwards. We helped pick up the dungeon a little bit even though Mistress Ingrid’s slaves were supposed to do the job.

I handed my keys off to Master as we left, since I’m not very keen on driving at night, no less on the highway to an area that I am not familiar with at all. As we drove Master teased me and tortured me with little pinches and caresses on my breasts and my cunt. There were times when we hit some serious conversation, and when I became emotional, his calming hand lay on my knee and or my hand.

We finally arrived at Erebus’s house and we settled in, getting drinks all around and relaxing, taking a quick tour of his home. That was when I broke out my leather muzzle/mask. When I showed it to Erebus and he sniffed it I swore he would have cum in his pants. But then again the smell of really leather just sends me into my happy place too so I can’t complain too much. =)

I took a seat on his chaise, leaning back and chilling out as we talked, and it took a bit but after a while Erebus mentioned about wanting to play with my tits and he eagerly came over and took them out of their confines, spanking them and watching my face as I reacted. He sat me up after a few minutes and removed my bra and pulled my spaghetti strap tank to my waist and began playing with my breasts in earnest. Finally he got to the good part and just pulled everything off of me so that I laid bare on his chaise, my arms stretched above my head as I watched both Erebus and my Master as they looked at me before they both laid their hands on me and I started to fly, not float, to FLY!

Most of it afterwards is a blur, just a haze of sexual euphoria, but there were some instances where the clouds cleared. The first time was when Erebus started to finger me. He wasn’t gentle or pussy footed about it, he just instantly filled me and went for the sweet spot, teasing me then nearly jack hammering my G-spot until I came, arching my back and screaming as the orgasm ripped through me and I squirted all over the place. Then there were the sweet thuds of Erebus’s flogger as well as Master’s flogger, the combination of leather and rubber a beautiful sensory bouquet on my pale flesh. Finally Master’s bull whip came out and Erebus rained stinging sweet kisses on my chest and stomach, pausing a few times, just waiting for me to open my eyes to look at him and then CRACK goes the whip and the pleasure just radiates from the contact point.

At one point Erebus took a break to answer his phone and talk to one of the girls that had come to the Shibari meeting. He started telling her about what my Master was doing to me and to just tease him I stood up and started to dance, swaying my ass from side to side until he stood and gave me a few good swats on the rump. Erebus invited her over and soon she had arrived, and was greeted with me standing quite naked in the doorway, smiling and waving. She came inside and we all settled down and started talking a bit, though it wasn’t long before Master started playing with me again and getting me to squirt over and over again while Erebus played with the other sub, as well as the pair of them watching me writhe moan and scream.

Erebus at one point told me to go across the living room to where he and the other sub were sprawled out on the couch and to play with the other girl. Being the brat that I am, I instead went across to straddle his lap and stick my tits in his face which he eagerly started playing with while she caressed my ass, my hip and thigh grinding into her cunt. Then I turned to her and started kissing her gently, my fingers arched so that my nails trailed over her skin. Then I gave into my urge and pulled her head to the side and started to bite her neck, all the while Erebus was playing with my cunt as well as hers and soon she was shaking, ready to cum again and again.

Erebus then directed me to lick her cunt, and I lowered my head to her cunt, licking softly tasting her and then drawing her whole engorged clit into my mouth and began sucking even as one of them went to work at her mouth and breasts. She shook as she came and I lifted my head to smile at my Master who was watching me intently. Then as I lay back, she kneeled between my legs to lick at my pussy before my Master sat down and went to work on my clit again.

And you want to talk about firsts? As I came, my scream of pleasure and release melted into a full blown HOWL!! Not some pussy ass kids “Awwooo” sort of deal,a full on, full throated howl. That was a first and felt so good. We all had a good laugh at that, but I knew that Rose had been satisfied a bit.

Fetish Night @ Purgatory 11-14-2009

So Saturday I went with Master to the Fetish Party at Purgatory and we had a blast. I wore my black and white mini skirt, gartered thigh high hose, my black and pink bra and panty set, and a black vest that I put on to cover up my belly since I don’t like the pudgy tummeh (grumbles and prods jiggle belly). Didn’t do much with my hair and makeup this time around, left my lips bare so that Master could kiss me. I wore my collar and took my leash along this time so that Master could lead me around properly. I carried His flogger with me as we got to the club. Once inside we wandered around a bit, checking out the play areas, the dance floor and checking to see if anyone we knew was there.  


We wandered out back and were met by two fellow members of Fetlife (Deiter and Erebus) and we stood about and chatted for a bit before breaking off, my Master and I hanging out outside for a little bit more, taking in the cool night air. Eventually we went back inside and danced, his hold on my leash letting me know whether he wanted me close or whether he wanted me in a grande plie, before I bobbed back up. 


We danced through a few songs before wandering around the club again, the fog from the machine and cigarette smoke permeating the air and clouding our vision slightly. We headed into a side corner where the larger play area was and it was there that we found Deiter and Erebus there, Dieter playing with his companion on the table and Erebus in the crowd watching him play. Then Erebus decided that it was time to get me ready. He has asked permission from my Master the night before if he could rig me up in a hog-tie idea that he had thought up and had gotten cleared to do it. While Deiter wound down Erebus started rigging me up, eventually putting me face down on the couch that was in the area, slipping a rope gag into my mouth and trussing me up so that all the movement I was able to do was bob my head up and down, wiggle my ass and kick slightly (though that tugged on my head since my gag was attached to my ankles).






Above is the full rigging as photographed by Erebus. He allowed me a few minutes to relax into the bonds, get used to the pull and tug of each movement. Honestly I also felt a strong sense of comfort by being bound in that way, though the gag pulled at my lower lip.

 

After I was allowed to get used to my bounds My Master, he pulled out His crop and spoke to me, asking me if I wanted Him to use his crop on me. I nodded whole heartedly, loving the sting of his crop.

 I floated through most of the session. I was spanked, cropped and Erebus even took out his flogger or used my Master’s flogger to flog my ass. There was one time when a Lady asked my Master’s Permission if She may spank me. He granted it and she proceeded to kneel and spank me and used Her nails on my ass, arm and back. The first scratch was testing and when I raised my head in pleasure She scratched me more. I think it was then when I started floating into subspace. 

I wiggled, thrashed and squealed through the gag if a particularly hard blow hit me, and as punishment the main line was lifted so that my head was pulled back sharply and a harder blow was struck. Finally the play was stopped, whether by my Master or Erebus but Erebus knelt down by my head again and told me that he was going to untie me. I gave a small not in assent and slowly I was unbound, spitting out the gag when I found that I had the chance. Erebus asked me if I had had a good time and I gave him a happy smile and told him that I really truly did. I was worried at the time that it was later than it was, even though it was only 1:30 in the morning; guess that’s what happens when you hit subspace huh? 

 We went and got a drink later, only getting water for me since the rope had dried out my mouth. After we danced a bit we headed back over to the couch where I had been bound and relaxed. Erebus came back and requested that he would be allowed to flog me. Coolly my Master handed over my leash and with a rough tug Erebus put me on my feet, giving me a wry smile and telling me he was a little bit more aggressive than Master. I replied that I did not mind in the least and he bent me over the couch, lifted my little skirt and began to flog me. 

 A smile slowly began spreading across my lips, even though there were a few particular thwacks that had me arching my bag in pain. He nudged my legs farther apart so a few hits got me square on my pussy and it made me even more hot and bothered. After a few moments he turned me onto my back and started flogging my front, though one blow landed too hard on my ribs and had me near tears. But between my Master’s soothing words and Erebus’s calming touches and apology I was back into the scene and writhing and arching in pleasure.

When the party broke up, we headed back to my Master’s place. He teased me the whole way home, bringing me close to orgasm but never letting me reach it until we went up to His room and I pleaded with Him to let me suck His cock. He let me and then also bent me over the side of His bed and fucked me, delving deep into my core. Despite my need to want to stay until He came, I regretfully had to leave to get home at a decent time so that I could have a few hours sleep before I had to go to work at 11 am. 

 All in all it was an amazing night and I plan whole heartedly to go to the next one in December, and this time I’m taking the whole weekend off so that I could sleep longer than just a few hours.

Contemplations From Master's Feet

It has been a month since I started exploring this lifestyle, and already I feel like this just might be where I am supposed to be. Whether i will stay with the current Dom, I do not know.  I know He is very kind and has already become a dear friend to me, and is a gentle Teacher and Master (when He wants to be).

"One must lose control to be in control"

Or so one Mistress said in an Episode of House, cant recall the original phrase but it is close enough i think to make my point.  I have found that by relinquishing control to my Master that I come out of a scene more at peace and centered mentally and emotionally than any other 'vanilla' play.

There is/will be more to this.. but it has been a long day and this switch needs her sleep.

My Master Is Very Sweet To Me

So I went to be with my Master last night, and I had to wait for Him because He was working on a troublesome car that dint want to behave properly. So i waited patiently, finishing my book that I had in my purse, my hand idlely playing with the tag on my collar.

Yes i was a cheeky little miss and wore my collar into his work, tag and all.  Wanted to please Him as well as see what kind of reactions that i might elicit at wearing such a thing in a public 'vanilla' venue.  Reactions were nil but I know that He was pleased with me for wearing it.

I followed him back to his place, going ahead since he needed to get gas, saying hello to his room mate and playing with his pug for a while while the demon she-bitch dog growled and barked at me. I went to His room and play with His cat as we waited for him.  I probably should have gotten presentable for him, but i was distracted with his kitty.

When He got home and into his room i sat like a good little girl and waited for him to tell me what He wanted me to do. We kissed and i played with His cock, rubbing it and caressing it, pressing my fingers into the bundle of nerves just at the base.  He drew me to him by my collar, my tag jingling in the metal ring.  One hand played down my back to my skirt, lifting it and caressing the flesh of my ass, a finger slipping under my grey cotton thong to play at my tight ass hole.  Almost instantly I relaxed and let him explore, having him never really play with my anus alone before. It was interesting, kissing him and having his finger play with my tight little ass hole.

Slowly I relaxed, and he was able to fit his fingertip into my anus and gently finger me there, letting me get used to the idea. As my passions rose, so did the tempo of his fingering. I was on a haze of feeling as he teased me allowing the sensation to be introduced to me as slowly as i would allow.  Soon I was gasping softly against his mouth, small waves of feeling rising up and crashing down over me. After a few more moments he rose up and made me suck him, teasing me and testing my remembrance of what he liked (lips, kisses, licks and sucking of his cock, in that order). Even better I can take more into my mouth, and let his head rest just before the entrance to my throat before i feel the gag reflex kick in. He was very pleased with that.

I suckled him close to cumming as well but I stopped just before, because he forced me back, ordering me to stand up and take off my thong and lifted my skirt even as he ripped my black sweater from my shoulders.  He pushed me down on the bed, my skirt lifted and my sex exposed. With a snarl he took me fast and hard, his growls and grunts thrilling me as his long hair fell around us.  Was a quick encounter, but enough to sate us for now, and after he had rolled off of me, I sat up and removed my dress and bra, gently caressing his bare skin and rubbing his hands and forearms at his request.

Though there was one moment when my thoughts turned from my Master to Xel, and slowly i feel into despair and my arms went around me, my head dipping into my shoulder and the shuddering sobs and tears flowed.  With a soothing tone my Master took me into his arms and caressed my back and my hair, kissing my eyes and my forehead, whispering soothing words as my back bowed whenever i suppressed a particularly hard sob.  I told him of my fears and regrets, and he soothed them with gentle words, kisses and caresses.

I wont tell all of the conversation, just sufficed to say that he calmed me enough to be coherent again and able to function.

He also rubbed my back a bit and did some cupping on my back while we watched TV.  finally it was time for me to leave, though i still wanted cuddles and snuggles from him, just for comfort and security.

I still have my doubts about myself , still have the regrets.  but with my Master by my side, both as my Master and my friend, as well as the rest of my friends and family, I will eventually get through this.

Three Mind Blowing Rounds

Two words... HOLY FUCK.... *drools*

Ehehe, if that doesnt explain how I felt, NOTHING will.

(IDK honestly, just felt like it *shrug*)

Okay so I get my package yesterday with my collar and my leash (insert stupid grin here) and I instantly tell Master via text that it had arrived; even though I knew he wouldn't be able to respond back to me he'd know that I had it. It smelled so good, since it was from Leather Etc. and I LOVE the scent of real leather. I got SO impatient after that, just wanted to get out of work and go to my Master and show off my pretty collar and leash to Him.

Although I think that may have been a bad idea to tell Him because as soon as He got online he started telling me how crazy horny He was and how much He wanted me at His place NOW... not after work, He wanted me NOW. Ehehe.... which was pretty satisfying knowing that I caused that intense want (I have low self esteem), so I just kept teasing him. Told Him that I would be nice and try to get out early, and I did, sort of.

Went straight to his place, or at least tried to before getting horribly lost, but He came to fetch me and showed me where to go. I always need a few tries to get to where I need to go (and no the pun was not intended). But anyways, we got there and went up to His room after He had gotten a drink and it was all crazy from there.

I showed him the 'trick' that I love to do with soft cocks. I sucked His soft cock hard, just so that He could feel my whole mouth on him. He's going to try to teach me to deep throat, since its something that I want to do for my man, but my man is much thicker than Master is. Hopefully He will be able to teach me what I need to learn. I'm such an eager cock slut that it's not funny.

But that's not the best part, or in this case, best parts!

He blindfolded me, bound my wrists behind my back, and made me follow Him around his room with His cock in my mouth, tugging on my leash if I didn't keep up. I only 'lost' it once, which probably cant be said for most who first expreience having to be on one's knees, with their Master/Mistress's cock in one's mouth and then follow them around the room until He/She says 'Enough'.

By that time my shirt had come off, and I was just in my bra and short pencil skirt and heels. He stands me up... bends me over the bed, lifts my skirt up over my ass, tugs my lavender boy short undies down to my knees and goes in, hard, fast and deep. His hands pulled at the wrist cuffs, and he just took me for all I was worth. I was screaming and cumming and screaming all over again. There was a few times when He pulled my hands to His body, and to just expel and show Master how good I felt, I scratched and dug my nails into his stomach (or at least as best as I could while in wrist cuffs). It was even easier when He lay atop me and slammed into me, my nails just automatically dug in and held on. By that time He and I were both crazed, growled profanities and 'insults' from Him, screams, moans, cries and growls from me.

The second 'round' began with Him teasing me, fingering me and rubbing my G-spot until I came, and came, and came. I hadn't cum that hard in a long time, just the force of the orgasm and the amount of girl cum that squirted out of me was mind blowing; and left me dry mouthed. He had me ride him, front and reverse cowgirl; the reverse cowgirl so that he could deliver stinging blows to my ass cheeks.

But the third time was the BEST by far.

Consider the above image, minus the third male in the background. Now flip the chick on her back, close her legs with him still in her and then have him go at it. HOLY FUCKING GOD IN HEAVEN! You want to talk about something crazy and new to me? That was it. To have His cock in me like that, just pounding away and have what was NOT in my body rubbing against my clit, I couldn't think past "oh my effing jesus this is amazing!'' , and then even after that I could barely talk/think past the fuzz in my head. Just laid there, panting next to Master, barely able to move. Was VERY close to falling asleep right then and there. But I didn't. Instead Master was the one who got the relaxing aftercare massage, and he was so relaxed/tired/worn out from all the play that he fell asleep.

But I woke him and we showered, with me helping him wash his LOOONG hair, as well as brushing it and pulling it back. We looked at a few pics to see what he wanted to have printed and sent to one of his friends, then I had to go back home because it was uber later than when i should have left.