Service Submissive/Slave Curiosity

So after this past weekend with Him, i've started to gain a curiosity 

for service submission... or maybe a slave girl.

MAYBE

At first, i thought slavery would be something that i was whole heartedly against, since my mind automatically puts "slavery" into the definition that has dominated through history.  Forced into servitude, treated poorly; used hard, put away wet, and taken out again before fully dry.  Traded hands like so much meat, without regards to feelings or emotions of the one being traded.  Granted i realize that most Gor novels (of which i have read none, but i am thinking of obtaining), have such trades.  But in reality it may not always be the case.

When i was with Him, and even before, i checked out His profile on FetLife and saw that he did indeed like Gorean, and the new position that he taught me (I know Nadu and the whipping position, as well as a few others) put me in more peace and submission that i realized.  I had taken Nadu with scott, though i didn't know what it was then, and did feel quiet, but not FULLY as with Him.  I took the simplest joy in washing Him in the shower, and serving Him while at the party, holding His drink as He instructed, falling to my knees at the snap of His fingers.  Even Mistress P noticed that i was more serene and at peace as comparative to other times She and i had seen each other at parties.  And i treasured that peace and tranquility, even in the midst of a pulsing fetish party amidst dancing and scenes.

If i could have that peace and serenity ALL the time as a submissive in a relationship, i know i'd feel so much better.  I'd still want and need that ability to switch, and to let my wolf out and assert Herself, because She's never too happy if She stays suppressed for a long time.

It will be something that I will continue to research, and maybe, hopefully be able to explore more with Him, if He is willing to teach me properly, seeing as how i have a feeling that the last "dom" that was trying to "teach" me didn't do a very good job, seeing as how i learned MORE from reading a book than him physically teaching me.

We will see.

A Fantastic Weekend - Part One

Saturday, November 13, 2010
Second Annual Drum and Dance Festival

 Fetish Factory Party At Sea Monster

I had such a fantastic time over the weekend.  Saturday I had to be at practice with my Troupe in Boca, then directly after that went to attend my teacher's Drum and Dance Festival that she had put together for that afternoon. As i was walking up to the band shell i saw Him talking with a friend and went up to say hello, resisting the urge to kiss Him. I went and dropped my bag near His stuff and relaxed for a bit, saying hello to my friends and to my teacher.  After a while of listening to the huge circle of drummers, i couldn't resist and started dancing, even though i was the only one for a few minutes.

I would look over to Him and see Him watching me, and i'd smile and wink at Him, or i'd see Him resting his hands. There was one moment that i walked out of the circle and knelt by his side to rub his hands, getting some of the tension out of them.  Afterwards I softly rubbed my cheek against His hand, hidden by my hair. I looked up at Him and was rewarded with a simple smile and thanks.

We dance and danced and danced.  Zaghareets rose into the air as everyone danced and twirled and laughed. Styles and techniques ranged from traditional to Rom to African Tribal, to ATS/Tribal Fusion.  I wore my 7 yard skirt instead of the monster 25 yard skirt that i have (easier to drive and work with when not doing a full skirt dance).  

Faces obscured to protect identity

The joy of dancing thrills me to no end.  Finally it was time to go and I followed Him to the hotel that He had made reservations at for the night. I felt rather small and out of place there, not being used to such a nice place. But this IS Las Olas we're talking about here, so one would expect it.  We checked into the room and waited for the bellman to bring our things up to the room (which had a moderate view of the pool and a roof).  After he was gone, His demeanor changed, His hand fisted in my hair and that amazing mouth descending onto mine.

He had me help Him undress, and He instructed me to undress as well, a snap of the fingers having me flow to nadu to his feet, my face lifted slightly to watch Him (not "traditional" i know, but whatever), and was instructed in his soft voice to finish undressing Him, taking His jeans down and nuzzling along the growing bulge in His underwear, mouthing it and looking up at Him as i did it.  He helped me up and had me remove my skirt and underwear before He lead me to the floor again and placed a hood over my face.  He helped me up onto the bed and flogged me across my breasts and thighs, though before that He clamped my tits and teased them with the clamps.  The falls felt fantastic on my skin, after being out of the practice of having one used on me.

Then He had me turn and kneel on all fours with my ass as high into the air as i could put it.  I was expecting a flogger, until i heard the tell tale CRACK of a single tail kissing the air.  I shuddered and tensed, then danced on the bed for Him under the guidance of the tail.  If i moved too much, or moved too far out of position He would crack the whip near me until i calmed and stilled and He cracked it over my ass again.

I have a few beautiful marks on my ass from that, which i will upload later, once they are fully edited to make the marks pop a little bit better. 


He turned me over and played with me some more, teasing my little pussy until it started clamping as i came again and again.  I pleaded with Him to remove the hood so that i could look up at His face. He removed the hood and i smiled up at Him.  He lowered His head for another kiss before making me suck His amazing cock.  The moans and groans and filthy talk had me writhing, my legs working and hips lifting, wanting more; and boy did he give it to me. Just filling me up and driving deep into me... making me scream and come and scream some more.  I dragged my nails down His torso, making him groan as he bucked into me.


As His orgasm drew close He knelt over me and fed me His cock, fucking my face and coming in my mouth and over my chest. He tasted so good and i spread the cum all over me to His approving growl.  Afterwards we showered and i did one of my favorite things for Him, just washing Him with the soap front to back.  To be able to provide such a service is an Honor that i am happy to receive when i get it.  I know He enjoyed it to.  He washed me as well and we both got dressed to go to dinner.  We sat and talked and enjoyed each other's friendly company; though He listened to me ramble on most of the time. 


After dinner we walked back to the hotel arm in arm and up to the room where we relaxed for a bit, and fucked again.  


He also taught me a few things that He preferred his submissives to do for Him while serving Him.  He told me how to serve Him His drink.  It was amazing at how i was cracking jokes one moment as i was pouring Him His drink, the next as i knelt in Nadu to serve Him, i switched instantly.  His serene smile, and gentle touch to lower my head and lift my hands offering the drink to Him.  I closed my eyes and fell into such a peace that i have never felt before.  The pure peace and happiness of the truest submission that i have fallen into. It felt amazing, and i want that again.  His approving touches as i knelt there thrilled me after He watched me for a bit; His hand on my cheek, which i leaned my head into, lingering touches down my arm and my chest, whispering how pleased He was at my submission, how much He liked my pale skin.  As He released me from the position i crawled into be with Him and kissed Him, i admitted how much it had moved me to be there in that position.


Afterwards we got ready and i preened a bit as He praised my breasts as he taped them up.  We finished getting ready and I slipped a jacket on over my outfit, so i at least didn't disturb TOO many people even though the garters and a small sliver of my skirt showed.


We hailed a cab and went into the party, seeing friends and getting a drink.  I held His drink as instructed, and knelt at the snap of his fingers.  Asking Him permission to go say hello, eagerly greeting my friends, and introducing Him to them. He played with me, spanking me and flogging me, then allowing a Mistress friend to play with me a few times.  After a wonderful night, we went back to the hotel and he bent me over at the bed and rammed His cock into my pussy, filling me completely. It felt soo good to be filled by Him, more than once, over and over again getting pounded, hearing His voice groaning and growling over me.


After a final round of fun we dropped into bed, falling asleep fast.




Stay tuned for part two.. though it wont be as exciting as this first bit.

Fetish Party

I can't wait!

I went to the Revel party earlier last month and had a total blast, love the new venue at Sea Monster and by what Mistress P was telling me, also a lot more open during the fetish factory parties.  I haven't been to a party in a long time, and while at Revel i got the most delicious spanking from Her after a long while and it felt amazing.

Before that though is my dance teacher's second annual Drum and Dance Festival at a local community center and it'll be my first time going and i plan to have so much fun.  Will be meeting a friend there with his submissive and  and then hopefully after that we'll go back to his place and play.  He is a LOT older than me, more so than the psycho i was with before, BUT he knows that its a NSA playtime, and he knows that he'll be allowed to play with me at the party as well, probably after Mistress P has her wicked way with me. And if its before then that's okay too because oh my god he's so handsome and so well built and and .. *drool* not the kind of "daddy" i see when i think of that aspect of play.

I plan to wear my dress and attached garters that i posted about in a previous post... and to remind everyone....

And i will also have my nipples covered with electrical tape, probably thick exes cuz just one or two stripes will not cover these babies!

And for modesty's sake at least until after entering the club i'll be wearing this skirt over everything (and also be wearing a black thong to cover the lower bits, but it will still be easy access)

And with that outfit i will probably wear a choker or maybe even no jewelry at all, though i will be wearing my Michael Kors pumps since it will look classy and yet sexy at the same time.  And there will be PLENTY of flesh exposed for flogging and whips and scratches and spankings and.... *shivers* 

God i can't wait to go and see friends and play and dance and have a grand old time!!!

What I Need Take 2

Okay obviously i just posted a little while ago, but i forgot a big one.

• Allow me to Switch: as a submissive/Dom switch, there is that need, fueled by Rose of course, to dominate. A few have said that as a switch, to thrive i need to be with another switch.
  So far, that statement hasn’t proven true, BUT i could be wrong since i am quite new to this life.  I will not/can not Dom just anyone. We have to sit up and feel a connection with a sub before we will attempt to Dom a submissive. The same goes for an eventual Dom. 
  You can have the best toys and be the best looking Dom out there, but if Rose and i don’t sit up and pay attention, then its tough titties for you bucko!
  
  
• Have Patience: Please have patience with me. It takes many tries for me to get something right, and don’t tell me, show me. I am a visual and physical learner, and until the muscle memory hits, i will make mistakes. I will forget a proper response, I will neglect to do a certain task; but it is not because i am being a brat, it is because it has not become habit for me yet.
  
  
• Regarding Service Oriented Submission: Service oriented submission is something that i have heard about, but not something that i have fully researched.  In my previous dynamic i would wash his hair as well as his back and legs, and brush out his hair after a shower.  I would bring him his shorts or socks as he asked me, but other than that, there really isn’t any formal service training that i have done.
  
  
• I will NOT be a slave: that is another hard limit and an expansion of the SOS though processes at the moment. I will gladly perform tasks for my Dom’s pleasure, but i will not be put in a space where i find myself degraded and humiliated, which also falls into objectification and being urinated or shat on. Aint gunna happen. I may nuzzle your leg or hand in thanks and devotion, but i am not going to kiss your boots, unless i am overcome with the need to plead for something or other and my words do not speak loudly enough for You to hear.
  

And now i say good night, good day, And Gods All Bless. For the night is drawing on and my eyes are weary.

What Do I Need?

As some of my readers (if not all of you) know, I have cut ties and returned my collar to my now former Master.  He proved to be less than honorable and honest with me. And that is the last i will say on the matter. He has been handled and i have washed my hands of him.

But in the past two conversations with another Dom, I have started to wonder; what do i really want in/from a Dominant?

Below are the musing of today,

and will probably be expanded on as i learn and grow.

And some may call me demanding for what i write

and what i say that i need/require

But they can just stuff it.

• COMMUNICATION: BIG BIG BIG thing.  Open and honest communication of limits and needs, be it physical, emotional, mental (yes there is a difference), turn ons, turn offs, situations and health issues. Neither party is psychic, so nothing can be magically understood.
   
  
• Physical touch is key for me. I have to have that touch, that reminder that my Dom is there, that i am safe, that i am protected. To not have that touch, is to not feel connected. Be it a caress, a spank, a squeeze of the hand/shoulder/arm etc. the reminder that the Dom is there is important.
  
  
• Be attentive (and i know this point is in contrast to point #1, but stick with me here): I have a problem putting my emotions into spoken words, so my body speaks for me.  Know my ticks and twitches, know my physical limitations and don't stress them.  I am a dancer first and foremost; my body is my expression. My hips are not as they used to be, nor are my knees after my car accident back in 2007. A pillow or padding for my knees when i kneel, permission to lean right or left when my body starts to complain. If you need me to clarify when discussing something, be gentle and coax the clarification out, do not push and prod; because then i'll just get my back up and will snap back at you.
  
  
• Know my limits: i cannot stress enough that if you push me and push my hard limits that i will push back, and it will not be pretty. No means no means NO!! Physical limits can be worked around as stated above with modifications of postures, positions, procedures etc. Hard limits are non negotiable.
  
  
• Family First: My biggest concern in my life is my family.  Above all else the wellbeing of my family is first and foremost in my mind.  If you can't handle that fact then you aren't the Dom for me.
  
  
• I live at home: which means that me entertaining you at my home will be merely as a house guest and as a friend, not as your submissive. If i lived by myself, things would be different.  The ability to train me at your residence, or at a mutually agreed upon location is not only important but necessary.
  
  
• My Wolf, Rose: Rose is a big part of who i am, and is also the reason why i am a switch. She is my wolf, my alter ego. The visceral and primal part of my psyche. She is the Dominant persona, the Queen Bitch, the one that  each submissive will know when they encounter my dominant side.  For a Dominant to receive my full submission, She must feel a call, be it to a wolf preferably, but a strong dominant animal and the animal must be strong enough to dominate her. If she's not dominated, she'll not submit. 

I am sure that there will be more, but it is late for me and i cannot think of more.

My Mind Is Fucked Up

And i’m not saying that because i’m a pervert, a ‘freak’, etc.  I’m saying it because my mind has a strange way of processing and justifying certain situations.

Like last night for example.

I had a fantastic time with Master and my Lady, and was teased and tortured and bitten by them both.  But because i didnt get fucked by Master or tasted by my Lady, i felt left out and ignored, at least in that way. And today that translated into the fact that i was ignored and left out that whole night.

Like i said, fucked up.

But as i described it to another friend, it kind of felt like sub drop, but also factor in that i’m still a smidge sick, and i’m still on the last few days of my period (which reminds me.. i have to put my patch on tomorrow after a shower..).  Sorry, random i know.  Blaming the still fluctuating hormones may sound like a cop-out to most, and i can see why they would think that.

But i acknowledge that the jealousy is there… the fact that She gets to see him more often than i, but logic states that she can because she is just going to school and doesn’t work full time (damn near 24/7) like i do.  She has the ability to sleep over with him also, another thing that is impossible for me short of next month’s party which the next day is a day off for me so i’m planning on actually sleeping over with Them.

She has freedoms that i dont have, especially family wise.  My mother is aware and judges me and guilt trips me left and right about how i’ve decided to live my life, and forbids me to talk about it in the house (my house my rules *gag*). That fact alone leaves me feeling stifled and saddened. By what She has told me thus far, they acknowledge it and accept it, but have their reservations like all parents would.  Things may be different than the impression i got.. i don’t know.

So you see why i feel so conflicted, and so stressed and anxious.  I know that things will work out in the end, but this is a new and unknown Path to me, and i pray that i will be able to travel it by His side and grow both as a sub, and a young woman.

Double Teamed - Oh So Good!

Friday December 11, 2009

So last Friday was the first meeting of the Guerrilla Shibari meeting and it was a success by all accounts. Got to meet a bunch of new people and meet Mistress Ingrid face to face (what a powerful beauty) and had a great time all around. Typical me I was very nervous around a bunch of new people, but with Master’s reassuring hand on mine I slowly calmed down and loosened up a bit.

We sat back and watched as Erebus tied up a sub girl and as she was played with by Mistress Ingrid. IT was quite fun as I sat at Master’s feet with my cheek on his thigh and knee, my eyes watching the rigging and Erebus work. Master and I stayed after most of the guests had gone since we had planned to go to Erebus’s house afterwards. We helped pick up the dungeon a little bit even though Mistress Ingrid’s slaves were supposed to do the job.

I handed my keys off to Master as we left, since I’m not very keen on driving at night, no less on the highway to an area that I am not familiar with at all. As we drove Master teased me and tortured me with little pinches and caresses on my breasts and my cunt. There were times when we hit some serious conversation, and when I became emotional, his calming hand lay on my knee and or my hand.

We finally arrived at Erebus’s house and we settled in, getting drinks all around and relaxing, taking a quick tour of his home. That was when I broke out my leather muzzle/mask. When I showed it to Erebus and he sniffed it I swore he would have cum in his pants. But then again the smell of really leather just sends me into my happy place too so I can’t complain too much. =)

I took a seat on his chaise, leaning back and chilling out as we talked, and it took a bit but after a while Erebus mentioned about wanting to play with my tits and he eagerly came over and took them out of their confines, spanking them and watching my face as I reacted. He sat me up after a few minutes and removed my bra and pulled my spaghetti strap tank to my waist and began playing with my breasts in earnest. Finally he got to the good part and just pulled everything off of me so that I laid bare on his chaise, my arms stretched above my head as I watched both Erebus and my Master as they looked at me before they both laid their hands on me and I started to fly, not float, to FLY!

Most of it afterwards is a blur, just a haze of sexual euphoria, but there were some instances where the clouds cleared. The first time was when Erebus started to finger me. He wasn’t gentle or pussy footed about it, he just instantly filled me and went for the sweet spot, teasing me then nearly jack hammering my G-spot until I came, arching my back and screaming as the orgasm ripped through me and I squirted all over the place. Then there were the sweet thuds of Erebus’s flogger as well as Master’s flogger, the combination of leather and rubber a beautiful sensory bouquet on my pale flesh. Finally Master’s bull whip came out and Erebus rained stinging sweet kisses on my chest and stomach, pausing a few times, just waiting for me to open my eyes to look at him and then CRACK goes the whip and the pleasure just radiates from the contact point.

At one point Erebus took a break to answer his phone and talk to one of the girls that had come to the Shibari meeting. He started telling her about what my Master was doing to me and to just tease him I stood up and started to dance, swaying my ass from side to side until he stood and gave me a few good swats on the rump. Erebus invited her over and soon she had arrived, and was greeted with me standing quite naked in the doorway, smiling and waving. She came inside and we all settled down and started talking a bit, though it wasn’t long before Master started playing with me again and getting me to squirt over and over again while Erebus played with the other sub, as well as the pair of them watching me writhe moan and scream.

Erebus at one point told me to go across the living room to where he and the other sub were sprawled out on the couch and to play with the other girl. Being the brat that I am, I instead went across to straddle his lap and stick my tits in his face which he eagerly started playing with while she caressed my ass, my hip and thigh grinding into her cunt. Then I turned to her and started kissing her gently, my fingers arched so that my nails trailed over her skin. Then I gave into my urge and pulled her head to the side and started to bite her neck, all the while Erebus was playing with my cunt as well as hers and soon she was shaking, ready to cum again and again.

Erebus then directed me to lick her cunt, and I lowered my head to her cunt, licking softly tasting her and then drawing her whole engorged clit into my mouth and began sucking even as one of them went to work at her mouth and breasts. She shook as she came and I lifted my head to smile at my Master who was watching me intently. Then as I lay back, she kneeled between my legs to lick at my pussy before my Master sat down and went to work on my clit again.

And you want to talk about firsts? As I came, my scream of pleasure and release melted into a full blown HOWL!! Not some pussy ass kids “Awwooo” sort of deal,a full on, full throated howl. That was a first and felt so good. We all had a good laugh at that, but I knew that Rose had been satisfied a bit.